Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Day 4--Carlisle PA to Hackettstown NJ

OK...Left Carlisle at about 9am and headed toward our Culturally Significant site. Since there was only ONE post with a guess as to where we were going, I will hereby announce that Katie V is the winner, if only by default. She guessed either a brewery or a distillery. Now given what my usual inerests are, that would be at least a statistically appropriate conclusion to which to come. However, if anyone had looked at a map, they would have found a number of plausible possibilities. There was of course, Gettysburg, nearby. There are a number of Amish workshops at which to see...you know, whatever the Amish do in such places. The area is also often described as the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and we did indeed pass by a number of classic Pennsylvania Dutch historic sites, pictured below. As a side note, I will put on my politically correct hat that proudly displays an Obama for President button carefully affixed to the brim, and mentione that there are only two things I hate in this world...People intolerant of other people's cultures...and the Pennsylvania Dutch. But I digress. We saw the "Worlds (plural, not possessive) Greatest Miniature Village. I think it may be that village Hillary always talks about. We did see the World's Dryest River Boat, also pictured below. We searched high and low for the World's Largest Ball of String, The Three Headed Cow, The World's Most Gigantic Doctor (Scrubs reference), but to no avail. I think those items have been purchased for huge sums of money and are now on display at Wall Drug in South Dakota. We did, however, see a number of rural Pennsylvanians standing around on the side of the road, clinging to their guns and religion. Not sure why, but I thought I would mention it. Now, you must be thinking that any one of these culturally significant sites could have been the ONE to which we were referring, but to that I say, "Nay Nay." About an hour and a half from Carlisle PA is the tiny hamlet referenced in the famous song by The Band called "The Weight." The lyrics go a little something like this..."I pulled into Nazareth, I was feelin' bout half past dead." Yes indeed folks, we visited none other than the world famouse Martin Guitar Factory. I do have to say, I felt that familar tingle of excitement, dare I say, giddiness as we approached the front door. Jackie took a picture of me in front of the factory. We toured through the museum and saw the 1,000,000th Martin which Doug, Tom and I each held when it was on tour and visited Eddie Mathis' guitar shop in Roswell. We saw Prototypes of many other limited edition signature guitars like the 000-28 Eric Clapton, the D-45 Stephen Stills and many others. We did see, however, a glaring omission from the collection. I did not see the prototype of the OM-28 Night Dive. We saw a production model, but not the prototype, which is much more typical of the collection. Hmmmm. I wonder where they are hiding the prototype. We had a guided tour of the factory watching Martin guitars in various stages of manufacture and then had a nice slice of east coast pizza before heading out toward the burghe of Hackettstown. So, ladys and gentlemen is the answer to the Puzzler. We visited, dare I say, experienced, the 175 year old Martin Guitar company and had a rockin good time. Doug and Tom...eat your hearts out!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 3 – Blacksburg to Carlisle, PA

Breakfast at the Hampton Inn under the watchful eye of Manny. Actually saw a woman eating a donut with a knife and fork. Mr. Pitt would have been duly impressed.
Beautiful vistas through the Shenandoah Valley.


Coffee with Ms. Mallory Butler in the bustling metropolis of Lexington, VA. Mallory is a nice girl.
Road sign photo-op outside of Staunton, VA in honor of Jessie Kincaid.
Mandatory lunch stop at Cracker Barrel before leaving the “South” to enter the land of 7 Elevens, Sunoco, and where all iced tea is unsweet. I had aveggie plagte (fantastic hashbrown casserole) Jim had a turkey sandwich (for fear that he wouldn’t get one for several weeks – not alotta turkey served in France or Italy).
Rolled into Carlisle about 5:00pm to wine and cheese and chat. Had a nice dinner at one of those typical northeast tavern-type restaurants—the kind you can’t find in the new south. Beth and George’s oldest daughter, Theresa, was generous enough to drive in from Hershey PA to visit with us and let us pay for her dinner and beer (which she drank from a glass NOT the bottle). She and Jim traded inappropriate insults from any number of Will Farrell movies confirming her Dirty Pirate Hooker status.
Coffee and cupcakes and mashed potatoes with Beth in the morning (Beth prepared an entire Thanksgiving dinner overnight while we slept – true story). It was determined during our morning chat that we are not only people who have cuckoo for CoCo Puffs siblings.
We missed George.
Good news. We found Manny’s dog.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Puzzler--a cultural/geographic test

Knowing that our route over the next two days will take us from Blacksburg, VA through Carlisle, PA ending in Northeastern NJ, what culturally important site do we intend to visit?

Winners will be announced.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Day 2-Cashiers to Blacksburg VA

5:37 am. Nora's upstairs bedroom where we are snuggled up under a warm comforter.

Jackie rouses herself and decides to see what time it is. There is no sense getting up too early...it is her vacation too! She reaches for her fancy schmancy iPhone and pushes the button to light up the screen. She slides the little lock icon thingy to the right to activate the desktop which has the current time nicely displayed at the top. Indeed, it is too early to get up, it being only 5:37am. She clicks button to kill the display, reaches back to the side table and promptly deposits her fancy schmancy iPhone into a full glass of water. iBaptism. The next half hour is spent shaking the phone, blowing into the phone, cursing at the phone, using the blow dryer on the phone and ultimately, giving up on the phone realizing that if it is dead, it is dead. We will not go to unnatural lengths to extend its life. If it is to live, it will live. We just hope and pray, it has a respectable quality of life.
WOW truckstops in NE Tennessee are not fertile recruiting grounds for the Ivy Leagues. I don’t even think the underground organ harvesting syndicate would hunt here. We did however see an advertisement for clinical research study sponsored by the Royal Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry (seems to be housed with Joe Bubba’s Body Shop and HairCare). Whew!! You shoulda seen the “before” photos. Do the Europeans have trailer trash too? Well we are fixin’ ta find out.

TRAVEL NOTES: Great bike ride potential along rtes 246 out of GA and 107 between Cashiers and Sylva. Lot’s of hairpin turns and spectacular views.

Dinner with DC and DC's son Michael and his girlfriend Randi in Blacksburg. Michael is doing his graduate program at VA Tech. We really came to Blacksburg to see Randi and Michael is part of the package. You take the bad with the good.
We decided to stay at the Hampton Inn because they have nice beds. This housing selection was partiularly fortuitous because WE FOUND MANNY! Who is Manny, you ask? And I would answer: Manny is a manaquin given to our friend Doug by our other friend (yes...we do have more than one friend!) Terry. Terry had dressed the manaquin in all sorts of high styles and fashion, reflecting Doug's particular sartorial preferences. We named him Manny and posted him at the top of our driveway to help guests navigate our perilously long driveway during a New Year's Eve party held at Villa Vienneau. Well, Manny was abducted that fateful night. Not only was he stolen but he was also, somewhat, dismembered. We found an arm on the driveway, but alas, nothing else.
That was almost five years ago. WELL, we found him. Not only did we find him, but we also discovered the story of his disappearance. AND, we also found out that our friend Doug knew of Manny's wherabouts but conspired to conceal this information from us, his pals. Manny, having been given to Doug as a companion and confidant, learned that his new benefactor is a graduate of the esteemed, dare I say, illustrious center for higher education, Virginia Tech. Manny was so taken with Doug that he used the cover of an alleged abduction to disappear from our midst. He hitchiked to Blacksburg VA, with no money of his own and sometimes having to, dare I say, debase himself in exchange for transportation and lodging.
Anyway, Manny made it to Blacksburg and enrolled as a matriculating mannequin...in the Fashion Engineering program. Well, Manny's education from the institution whose mascot is a Hokie (no one actually knows what a Hokie is...Not even Doug) positioned Manny for employment in the most lucrative of all careers. He is currently the assistant overnight front desk manager at the Hampton Inn in Blacksburg.
We spied Manny in a phone booth outside the Hampton Inn, confirming the date and time of his second job: Exotic Dancer for bachelorette parties in the completely out of control Blacksburg. Apparently, the party attendees have a particular preference for Superman. Anyway, Doug usually stays at this very same Hampton Inn when he visits Blacksburg and no doubt has filled out his registration under the watchful eye of our Manny. I suppose Doug is a bit embarrassed that his pal and educational protege Manny is not better employed, given his VA Tech education. This is most likely why he has kept Manny's resurfacing a secret for all these many months.

BUT, we were very happy to have dinner with Michael, who is a graduate student Hokie. Hey Mike: There is a Motel 6 down the road. We'll leave the light on for ya!

Day 1 -- Roswell to Cashiers, NC

Got a late start. Rounded up the dogs and dropped off at Eunice and Ronnie’s. They are a delightful couple.

Jim and Jackie first’s argument of the car portion of the trip= which Quik Trip to go to for the cheapest gas. SCORE: Jackie 1; Jim 0. Feeling bad that she was winning, she let him choose lunch. Yes, folks that’s right. As we begin our search for gastronomical fulfillment, Jim opted to dine with royalty. He wanted a meal with the King. Burger King that is. French fries, diet coke, amercian cheese. Gotta keep those cholesterol numbers up in the event we run across one of those pesky French cholesterol and trans-fat shortages.

Uneventful but SPECTACULAR drive to Cashiers. Jim can turn a normally short day trip into a marathon day of snapshots and meter, meter, meter. Really it was a beautiful ride. The colors were breathtaking.
Arrived at Nora’s just in time for a long walk on the golf course with her sweet little dogs, Buddy and Quincy. Cocktails and dinner at a great little night spot called the Library. Driving to dinner guess what we saw?? Go ahead guess. I’ll wait for you. Unicorn? No. They’re not real. Troll? I don’t think they’re real either…But bears are real. And we saw one…in fact we actually stalked it for a few yards down Nora's street, but sure enough just as we got close we heard the tell-tale whup, whup, whup from overhead that could only mean one thing. DAMN, it was an Army Blackhawk helicopter and we were just able to make out the door gunner’s identity. Night vision goggles, face paint camo and Manolo Blahniks!! Yup, you guessed it was Sarah!! Moose rifle and all. Turns out she doesn’t have to give back the shoes or the helicopter back until the end of the month. So, no, really we didn’t see Sarah Palin, but we did see a cute little black bear.

Thanks to Nora for a very nice stay at her inn. Pancake breakfast and all.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

On My Wish List for Italy

After some exhausting research, I believe the tasty little treat Jimmy The Thing, Jackie V, Dougy C, Donna C, Anna M and Jamie the Limey enjoyed during our Umbrian adventure in 1999 is no longer available. If someone can find this little devil and direct me to whatever enclave in which it is currently hidden, I will either kiss them on the mouth or promise not to, depending on the supplier of said info. Meanwhile, gaze upon the object of my Italian Desires:




Blarney, The World Travelling Gnome



Several months ago, we had a nice dinner, which included nice food and nice wine, with our nice friends Don and Dianne. When we left their humble commode, I mean abode, we sort of kidnapped their lawn gnome. That was NOT nice. No pink flamingos for Don and Dianne, Noooooo. They have, or at least had, a cute little Travelocity looking gnome guarding their turf like Papa Smurf! So we stole him. We proceeded to do a number of really nasty things to the little fella, and of course, took a number of photos of the abuse. Unfortunately, most of the photos are too graphic to display here. We did, however, treat Blarney, yes, Jackie named him Blarney, to a splendid vacation in Hilton Head where we buried him on the beach and had to enlist the help of several large canine type animals to help locate him after we sort of misplaced him in the sand. They found him, pee'd on him and then we took him home. Since then, we have sheltered 'ol Blarney in our Pub, which is where such a creature is most at home. Since we will need to reserve all of our spare luggage space for our medications referenced in a previous blog, we will not, however, have room for the little guy. And I aint buyin a separate seat on the plane for him. So we have settled the hairy fairy in the pub, surrounded by his new friends: Several other woodland creatures, slugs, gargoyles and nut crackers. You can figure out who is who. Or is it whom? Anyway, given the fact that Hillary is standing right next to poor Blarney, it seems he is a bit uncomfortable about the prospect of keeping his junk intact. So, we would love your ideas on how Blarney should attempt his escape from his obviously Gitmo style confinement. Please post your ideas as you se fit!