Hokay, So. Jackie and I will be leaving on our sojourn to "The Continent" on Saturday, November 8. We will load up our politically correct hybrid SUV and begin our long drive north to the airport. Yes, I know Roswell is already north of the Atlanta airport, and yes, I know that by driving north it would take a really, really long time to reach the Atlanta airport. The airport of choice for our departure from the U.S of A. is, however, the ever popular port of call in the center, dare I say, the heart of the most scenic state in our great nation...wait for it...... Newark NJ.
That's right, boys and girls! New Freakin' Ark! "Why Newark?" you may ask. And I may answer, "cause the tickets were lots cheaper!" Cheap enough to warrant a leisurely drive up through the Smoky Mountains stopping to visit our dear friend Nora HouseServant in the picturesque town of Cashiers, NC.
From Cashiers, we will mosey up the scenic by-ways of Western NC and into VA with a much needed pit stop in the bustling metropolis of Blacksburg, VA. Home of the Hokies of VTech and one of our neighborhood children Mike British SillyGame. Mike is in his first year of his MBA at VT and he relishes the chance of beating Jimmy V in a rousing good game of beer-pong.
Then it's on to PA (not far from Scranton, home of Dunder Mifflin Office Supply and of course, Mr. Mainstreet, Joe Biden. ((Not to be confused with Joe The Plumber or Joe Sixpack! Did I say I'm in love with Tina Fey? Not in a bad way...not in a creepy stalker, wait outside 30 Rock just to catch a whif of her alluring fragrance kind of way. Just in a really healthy, red blooded, all American, shoot moose from a helicopter kind of way...but I digress))
PA is also the current home of our dear friends George and Beth Forests (George and I went to HS together and went on to go to different colleges together). Col Forests teaches at the War College in Carlisle and is currently serving as Assistant to the Sec of Defense of Afganistan (fairly decent guy, I must say), based in some undisclosed city in Afghanistan. Or something like that. Maybe he joined the French Foreign Legion and is just too embarassed to tell Beth. Not about the Foreign Legion, I mean, those guys are really tough and some of them might even be able to beat ME up, maybe, so I don't mean to say disrespectful things about them lest they track me down and spank my bottom...its just that they are...well, you know, French!
So, anyway we will visit Beth and say mean and nasty things about George in his absence. Then, after we take pictures of ourselves with various kitchen implements. (Inside joke. Let's hope the Afghani Military doesn't learn of this), we will proceed up the fashionable Garden State Parkway, dropping what remains of our life's savings in quarters into toll baskets, and wind our way to Hackettstown NJ.
Yes ladies and gentlepeoples, Hackettstown is the home of one of my cuckoo-for-CocoPuffs sisters, Patricia M. Riley (no Patti doesn't get a NCtPtI--family members are not innocent they are responsible at least in part for how crazy we are). We will catch up with her brood, and her bald-headed, miscreant husband, Kevin. A short (theatrical aside: and I mean short) visit will ensue, complete, I dare say repleat, with generous helpings, perhaps heaps, maybe even a veritible cornucopia of Vodka Martinis and various cheezy comestibles.
We plan to leave the hybrid (it's advanced technology folks, so I don't think my sister or her half-wit clan can figure out how to turn it on so, no worries, it'll be safe) at Patti's house during our time on the Continent. Or is that In Continent? There are medications for that, I hear. Anyway, we will then board our plane flown by the world renown airline, L'avion. Heard of it? Neither have I. I am pretty sure, though, they use the most modern aircraft...I looked up our flight and found a photo of our scheduled form of conveyance. I posted the photo here. Since our first stop is in Paris, I wonder
about the insignia on the aircraft...is it me? Am I just paranoid? Anyway, I do believe we will need a drink during this flight. And maybe some warm clothing. I'm just saying.Hokay, So. This is the first and perhaps the most cogent post to our TravelBlogue. (Clever, right? I thought of that all by myself) We will post one or two more prior to our departure in order to test our knowledge of how the hell this new fangled technology works and then, yes, THEN the real fun begins. Stay tuned for more from Jimmy The Thing and the lovely, the stunning, the ever, Jolie Jacqueline.
