Blarney, The World Travelling Gnome

Several months ago, we had a nice dinner, which included nice food and nice wine, with our nice friends Don and Dianne. When we left their humble commode, I mean abode, we sort of kidnapped their lawn gnome. That was NOT nice. No pink flamingos for Don and Dianne, Noooooo. They have, or at least had, a cute little Travelocity looking gnome guarding their turf like Papa Smurf! So we stole him. We proceeded to do a number of really nasty things to the little fella, and of course, took a number of photos of the abuse. Unfortunately, most of the photos are too graphic to display here. We did, however, treat Blarney, yes, Jackie named him Blarney, to a splendid vacation in Hilton Head where we buried him on the beach and had to enlist the help of several large canine type animals to help locate him after we sort of misplaced him in the sand. They found him, pee'd on him and then we took him home. Since then, we have sheltered 'ol Blarney in our Pub, which is where such a creature is most at home. Since we will need to reserve all of our spare luggage space for our medications referenced in a previous blog, we will not, however, have room for the little guy. And I aint buyin a separate seat on the plane for him. So we have settled the hairy fairy in the pub, surrounded by his new friends: Several other woodland creatures, slugs, gargoyles and nut crackers. You can figure out who is who. Or is it whom? Anyway, given the fact that Hillary is standing right next to poor Blarney, it seems he is a bit uncomfortable about the prospect of keeping his junk intact. So, we would love your ideas on how Blarney should attempt his escape from his obviously Gitmo style confinement. Please post your ideas as you se fit!